The Top 3 Lib Dem Justifications For Joining The Coalition (...and why they're bullshit).

Nowadays when someone says they'd vote Liberal Democrat, you can usually expect a series of justifications and excuses to immediately follow that statement as they uncomfortably try to justify their preferred party's role in the coalition. Some will play the numbers game and compare the number of respective MP's from the two governing parties, which conveniently ignores the fact that the Tories requires Lib Dem MP's to make up his majority, giving Nick Clegg the power to jettison literally any single piece of legislation he wants. Other yellow apologists argue that there was sadly no other option, which seems strange given the excitement in all levels of the party as the prospect of a hung parliament became more likely back in 2010. The most common strategy employed by party activists and ministers that have wandered onto TV shows lies somewhere between total denial and distracting them by pointing to shiny things, or in this case identifying supposed policy achievements the Lib Dems have accomplished while in government. Despite extravagant claims that the Lib Dems have implemented a vast proportion of the manifesto (I've heard different ministers and activists cite figures ranging from 50% to 80% already), only a small number of policies seem to actually be regularly mentioned. So without further ado, I present the Top 3 Lib Dem Justifications For Joining The Coalition (...and why they're bullshit).

1. The Pupil Premium

What it is.
The pupil premium is a £430 government bonus for every student on free school meals a school takes on, the aim being to discourage economic segregation in education and encourage schools to take more disadvantaged students. Sounds great, huh?

Why it's bullshit.
The pupil premium is usually evoked as a means of deflecting flak from the other education policy disasters the Lib Dems have suffered, a way of proving they're still the 'nice' party that cares for the poor even in the face of Dickensian Tory ambivalence and is easily one of the most loudly trumpeted Lib Dem policies. So by that logic it should be something really special right? While the policy obviously means well, two immediate problems spring to mind. Firstly, the school is under no obligation to spend the money on things that benefit the children that enabled the school to claim the money, and such children may never see a penny's worth of benefit from such a programme.

Secondly, the money that would pay these 'premiums' comes out of the existing education budget. You know, the one that's being well looked after and protected by the Coalition government. If you take money from something and then give it back to that same institution, you're not really helping it, just rearranging money around. Heck, if I stole £10 from a homeless man in order to give it to another homeless man, I wouldn't be fucking boasting about it. And given the massive cuts to education, it's impossible to argue that schools have benefited from coalition policy. 



2. Electoral Reform!

What it is.
We were all told how the Lib Dems heroically snatched much needed electoral form from the gritted teeth of the Tory Party, securing a much needed Democratic boost that would be fairer to smaller parties and enfranchise voters. OK, so it was only a referendum but surely the public would recognise the obvious superiority of a new voting system. And yes it was the Alternative Vote, a system that nobody really seemed happy with but still, any change would be an improvement right? And could even pave the way for more modern and proportional voting systems.

Why it's bullshit.
Obviously, this justification hasn't been around for a couple months now, but before May it really was arguably the biggest ace-in-the-hole the Lib Dem's had. Ignoring the obvious (and somewhat justified) self-interest on the party's part, Nick and co. should be congratulated for trying to bring about some much needed electoral reform. They should then be slapped for ruining any chance of Britain receiving the previously mentioned electoral reform. Prior to the 2010 election, support for electoral reform was strong and many people were hoping to see it happen. So what went wrong?

Oh.

By the time the referendum rolled around, the Lib Dem brand had become so heavily toxified and associated with the Tory Party, even long time supporters of electoral reform were having trouble ticking yes, for fear of endorsing coalition policies and thousands of students and public sector workers just wanted an excuse to punish Clegg. Liberal Democrats also made the mistake of trusting the Conservatives to run an honest, low key campaign.

Good luck with that.

Nick Clegg ended up featuring heavily in No-To-AV propaganda, David Cameron vigourously joined the campaign to much Lib Dem consternation and the 'Yes' campaign barely seemed able to outline the positives of reform, let alone correct the lies of the 'No' campaign. Anyay, AV ended up being dealt a massive defeat and the cause of electoral reform was set back for another generation. Thanks guys.

3. Civil Liberties

What it is.
Pretty obvious really. When the coalition was agreed upon, it was announced that a shared passion for personal freedom and civil liberties would be the glue that bound the coalition, in stark contrast to many authoritarian new Labour policies.

Why it's bullshit.
The coalition has a decidedly mixed bag on civil liberties. On the one hand efforts have been made in removing people from DNA databases, Labour's Freedom of Information Act has been extended and ID cards have been scrapped, although it's hard to imagine any situation where that wouldn't have happened.

Most prominently, Nick Clegg attempted to position control orders as the centerpiece of Lib Dem civil liberties policy, but ended up compromising on it and giving it a makeover and a new name, a strategy that would again be used for the ASBO replacement scheme. Twenty-eight day detention remains a reality, random stop and searches continue and the Coalition government has also moved to criminalise squatting. Clarke's admiral attempt at justice reform also ended up being flushed down the toilet and was replaced with harsher sentences and more prison.

Throw in the most brutal crackdowns on legitimate protest since the miner's strike, the rise of kettling and vast seisures of information from 'contained' protesters, the Minority Report style 'pre-crime' style arrests around the time of the Royal Wedding and the ongoing charges allayed against the peaceful Fortnum & Mason protesters and you're left with a poor excuse for a 'civil liberties government'.

'Civil liberties' delivered via baton